Traveling for connection #ConvoStarter

ConversationstarterthumbnailI created Travel with Kate a couple years ago to provide a place where people could go for positive perspectives on cultures around the world. I want to inspire others to travel (and live their daily lives) in a way that allows them to connect with individuals from different perspectives, walks of life, and countries. I want to demonstrate the depth of personal growth that can arise from these connections.

This idea came to me because when I travel I find that the world is a much more welcoming place than often perceived. And I’ve formed profound friendships with individuals along my travels that have enriched my life and helped me define my own path.

But often when I come home, I encounter naysayers who don’t subscribe to the idea that you can make friendships while traveling. They don’t see how they can access local communities or do they desire kinship with dissimilar individuals. I couldn’t be of a more opposite viewpoint.

I would like this post to start a conversation. Does making local friends in your destination seem like a fun thing to do to you? Or does it feel impossible? Where do you lie on this spectrum of travelers? Or maybe my thoughts above make you reflect on a time where you connected with someone of a different culture.

Whatever it is, please share with me. And I will respond! I want to start a conversation!

  • Antonio Neves
    June 17, 2015 at 12:16 am

    I’ve been fortunate to travel to various places all across the world like Egypt, Indonesia, Taiwan, Israel, Western Europe and beyond. The key thing that has made these experiences unique and worthwhile is making local friends. At times I’ve met people in advance via mutual friends, at other times I’ve met walking down the street or at a cafe. The key is being curious and open to learning. One of the cool things about connecting with locals is that you get to experience the local culture beyond a travel guide. You see things you would have never seen. Traveling to a new place and not connecting with locals and making new friends is a missed opportunity.

    • travelwithkate
      June 17, 2015 at 5:10 pm

      We are totally on the same page on this Antonio! And I think it is really smart to plan ahead, like you mentioned here. Finding out what friends of friends you may have in a destination is so helpful.

  • Vicky
    June 17, 2015 at 12:29 pm

    I don’t understand why someone would think you can’t make friends in another location. Those people are probably not worth the time because they’re not your audience. Sometimes it’s liberating to know who you should focus on and who will benefit most from your work, and who won’t….

    • travelwithkate
      June 17, 2015 at 5:12 pm

      I understand what you mean. But I also think it is important to share my perspective with them and maybe, just maybe sway them a bit. For example, there have been friends in my life who were super closed off to “local” travel. But after we traveled together or after they saw my vids they started to really get it. And I hope I’ve made a difference for them!

  • mmoma1
    June 17, 2015 at 12:49 pm

    For me, traveling is all about connecting with people. Visiting another country wouldn’t be nearly as interesting if you didn’t talk to anyone or didn’t gain any understanding of the local culture. Traveling is about much more than just seeing the sights and sunbathing. Obviously some people are more open/friendly than others but even if it makes you uncomfortable to make friends in an unfamiliar environment, stretching yourself outside of your comfort zones is how you grow. xo

    • travelwithkate
      June 17, 2015 at 5:13 pm

      So so so true!! And honestly, it sounds scarier than it really is. In many destinations, people will be just as interested and curious about you as you are them!

  • Alexandra Nikolchev
    June 17, 2015 at 1:48 pm

    My most memorable travels are when I connect with people from that place. I learn insight I never would imagine. Sometimes I meet local friends through another friend who’s not there but has put us in touch via email and sometimes a larger conversation comes out of just looking up from your travel guide and asking a stranger in front of you about their home. How do they enjoy to spend their time, what do they find pressing to talk about.

    • travelwithkate
      June 17, 2015 at 5:44 pm

      I have found this to be so true. I remember when I was traveling in Italy for the first time I was hanging out with a group of locals (friends of a friend) who where artists and dj’s and cooks. They had these creative outlets in their lives, these dreams of being at the top of the fields. But they also had an intense joie de vivre. Or rather as the cliche goes, the dolce far niente. And it was so refleshing to learn from them this balance between ambition and enjoying your life. That is just one story that comes to mind of course.

  • Kathy Madoyan
    June 17, 2015 at 5:27 pm

    Making new friends in a new place is one of the joys of living. My experiences in the places I have traveled would not have been half as memorable and valuable if it weren’t for those who warmly welcomed me and invited me into their culture. One such place was Guam – not only was I able to celebrate one of my best friends getting married, but I was offered a glimpse of what life is like there by all of the wonderful and open people I came across. A new place without local friends is like looking over a treasure filled ocean without being able to swim – you can look at it and admire it, but it might not be possible to dive right in 🙂

    • travelwithkate
      June 17, 2015 at 5:50 pm

      Very poetic! I like your analogy there! I loved Guam too. Of course is American soil and most of the locals identify as American. But there is a very lovely mix of Micronesian, Japanese, Spanish and American influences. And food is just so good. I never had chicken ceviche before traveling to Guam! That’s not for the faint of heart! And the bread fruit was a fascinating local product as well.

  • Avinash Bastia
    June 18, 2015 at 2:47 pm

    Being age of 25 and I am not able fly out of my country is boaring.I have strucked in job, not able to roam other country.I will start making plan for this.I always like to make new friends and do some maniac stuff. Try to learn different culture. Eat different food.This thing only you will get if you get to a local person of that place.I would love kate if I will visit to your local place and you will be my Guide , else you visit to India and I will be your guide.

    • travelwithkate
      June 19, 2015 at 3:40 am

      Hey Avinash, thanks for your comment! Where are you from? I love hearing that you are interested in other cultures and foods. I always say to people who can’t currently travel outside their own country that there are ways to explore your own country or hometown that can feel quite exotic. We rarely spend time meeting new people from different corners of our own cities. To do that, I try to put on my journalist-persona, ask people questions and learn about their lives, go to previously unexplored parts of town. It’s amazing how enlightening it can be! And when you do finally get to travel internationally you will have so many tools to meet locals as you’ll be a seasoned conversationalist!

      • Avinash Bastia
        June 19, 2015 at 2:22 pm

        Hey Kate, By the way,I am from India. I have watched all your shows from social media site i.e. Youtube. I started watching travelling show after your episodes in Youtube. I will start implementing your idea of exploring different corners of own country first.

  • Ben Hyman
    June 19, 2015 at 6:19 pm

    OK, unlike the rest of the bunch, I actually do think it’s quite difficult to meet people in foreign countries, even in a short period of a time, and even if you speak the language! The fact is that even the most adventurous and emersion-minded of us can face issues stemming from the fact that a vacation is short by definition. To make local friends in a non-contrived way often requires an “in” of some sort – and getting that first step is often what’s hard. It also probably depends on what city / country you’re in – but short of making plans ahead of time through various social networks to “meet” locals, seems hard to do in a spontaneous way.

  • Pika Pilar
    June 22, 2015 at 3:01 am

    I actually had to sit and think about this, Kate! Initially, I didn’t think local friends were part of my traveling experience. However, when I reflected more, I realized that the locals, whether they became a friend I kept in touch with, or an acquaintance I enjoyed interacting with/experienced something with, really defined, or colored my experience in that place. As one of your commentors mentioned, vacations are often short, and making a real connection/friendship with someone out of the blue can be difficult. But, on those shorter vacations, I do remember my interactions with locals, whether it was the taxi drivers, shop keepers, or someone sitting at the next table over. Those interactions all kind of added up and enriched my experience. There have also been the friends I’ve made on vacations, like my honeymoon in Kyoto, that I’ve emailed and maintained a great pen-pal relationship with! I think, Kate, what you are hinting at, or trying to get us to discover, is that a place we visit anywhere on earth…what makes that place truly unique (of course, aside from the location/destinations/sights), what makes the place truly special for us, is the people of the place. The people are the spirit of the land we are visiting. And if we are unable to connect to the spirit…well…then we might as well look at photos of the places we are visiting. Although, I am sure there are those that would enjoy their travels more, without connecting to the locals, rather, by being in their own private bubble to enjoy the sights of the place. And thats great too. But I’d rather interact and truly experience a new place…

    • travelwithkate
      June 26, 2015 at 9:19 pm

      Pika!! I loved this answer. And yes, you are so right. Thank you for understanding my aim and also articulating it in your own words. I think what is interesting, also to Ben’s point, is that there is a hole or a gap between these connections occurring by happenstance and on purpose. And I think this will be the inspiration/topic I’ll jump on for the next conversation starter!!

  • Vicky
    July 24, 2015 at 2:44 pm

    Sometimes it’s a necessity to make friends. This girl’s been traveling for 3 years non stop and she relies on people couches that she meets along the way to keep her costs down. http://www.vice.com/read/this-girl-has-been-on-holiday-for-three-years-876?utm_source=vicefbus

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